MAINA MWAURA sat down for a conversation with James E. Ryan, Dean of the Harvard Graduate School of Education and the bestselling author of “Wait, What? And Life’s Other Essential Questions.”  Most of us know James from his famous speech “5 Essential Questions” given at the 2016 Harvard Graduation School of Education Presentation of Diplomas and Certificates. His work has influenced both students and educators across the U.S. and around the world, and we’re excited for you to hear Maina’s conversation with James about how those ideas apply to the world of youth ministry. Check out the interview below:

MAINA MWAURA loves to guide student leaders. He is the husband of Tiffiney and has a two-year-old daughter name Zyan. Maina, lives in the Atlanta area and is the mobilization pastor at West Ridge Church. Check out more info at MAINASPEAKS.COM

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One of the harsh realities of youth ministry is that every once in a while you will have a youth leader who needs to be removed for one reason or another. They might have an attitude problem, they might be a domineering leader, or they may just not possess the skills right now to function well within your current team. Whatever it is, there are times when your ministry will benefit from removing a leader from active service. It is not what you signed up for, and it is certainly not fun. But for the sake of your students and the health of your ministry environment, it is necessary to know how to do it well. By avoiding it, you may be slowly sabotaging your ministry efforts. By coming at it too harshly, you could set off an atomic bomb that takes years to recover from. So how do you ensure that you maintain the health of your ministry environment while still addressing the issue appropriately?

In my youth ministry experience, I have already had to remove a couple leaders from active service…and there was nothing fun about those conversations. But here is what I have learned from them:

Pray, pray, pray.

I think the most common mistake that youth workers make is to forget about the power of God in their ministries. We somehow get this notion that we are the saviors of people, and that because we are the ones interacting with them that we are the ones who will change them, and we forget that the Holy Spirit, who called us to this in the first place, will always be the one actually doing the ministry. Paul warns of a day – probably one that is not too far off – where people will love themselves far more than God or others. And one of the things that will characterize them is that they will have “a form of godliness but deny its power.” (2 Timothy 3:5). So it is crucial that before we ever start talking to our leaders about ministry that we first talk to God about our leaders.

Define your expectations to the team before ever deciding to remove a leader.

If no one on your team knows what the expectations are for their life and their leadership, how in the world can you expect them to live within them? Before any hard conversation takes place with others, you must first make sure you have a hard conversation with yourself. Ask yourself if you have clarified expectations before ever placing them on your leaders.

Define specific actions or omissions that cross the line.

One of the things that you should make sure you do if you ever have to remove a leader is to specify the actions that cross the line. In so doing, you will actually separate the leader’s actions from his/her identity. The last thing you want to do is to give your leader the idea that they are not valuable. Of course, they are! They are a beloved child of God. But they must know that at this time, their behavior, skill set, or attitude doesn’t fit with what your ministry is about, and for THAT reason, you are having to ask them to step down. I remember I had a leader one time who obviously had a heart to do ministry, but because of personal insecurities, she had a tendency to put other students down in her comments. When I talked to her about it, I made sure to tell her that I loved her, and that I loved her heart for ministry, but that the words she was using were unacceptable in our ministry environment. Without ever belittling her identity, I was able to call out the action that crossed the line.

Call out greatness in your leader and allow for restoration once those positive qualities are regularly demonstrated again.

Don’t leave this conversation without making sure your leader knows that they are valuable in the kingdom of God. Call out a specific trait of theirs that may be currently dormant. I remember in my conversation with the aforementioned leader, I made sure to call out her potential for encouragement. Let’s just say her name is Sally (not her real name). I told her, “Sally, the way you are interacting with the students is not acceptable. Because you are feeling insecure about yourself, you are putting them down every time you’re here. But I know that there is something greater inside you. I know that Sally The Encourager exists, and I am just waiting to see her come out. So for now, I want to give you time – undistracted – to begin to let her out again. I am going to have to ask you to step down from leadership for now. I know Sally The Encourager is in there and I want you to meet her again. And once you begin to show that you can be a source of encouragement and joy for others again, let’s revisit this conversation on the other side.” And then we prayed together.

Don’t spread the news.

Let this process happen quietly. Obviously, the leader’s absence will be noticed, but there is no need for you to let everyone know. As best as you can, protect your leader’s dignity. The ultimate goal is restoration, so you want to make sure the way is paved for them to be reinstated years later. Don’t sabotage that now because you think you have to spill the beans. You don’t. Allow time and space for God to heal them without having to worry about their shame being exposed.

This is a process, not an event.

Finally, continue the follow-up. Like I said earlier, the ultimate goal is the restoration of your leader. So continue to follow up with them over time. Just like Jesus is continually reconciling us to himself, we are also called to bring his ministry of reconciliation with us wherever we go (2 Corinthians 5:16-21). Don’t stop the relationship with your leader once you have removed him/her.

What else do you think should be considered when removing a volunteer from leadership? Let us know in the comments below!

Frequently drinking specialty coffee or eating Dorito’s Locos tacos, Brant Cole is often mistaken for just another student. With his wife Christine, he has been in youth ministry since 2010. Gifted in relational connections and transformational preaching, Brant finds it to be one of the highest privileges to do ministry with and to students. To him, student ministry is extremely important because students are not just the church of tomorrow; they are the church of today. Brant has his M.A. in Pastoral Studies and Congregational Leadership from Moody Theological Seminary, and currently serves as Youth Pastor at WALLOON LAKE COMMUNITY CHURCH in Walloon Lake, Michigan. You can connect with Brant on FACEBOOK and learn more about his church’s youth ministry on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM.

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I used to drive home each day from work seeing a billboard advertisement for a dentist office. The advertisement claimed that coming to see them for dental work is not like going to the dentist at all.

While I appreciated their desire to lessen the association of pain with regular checkups at the dentist, I see this promise and desire span broader and deeper through many areas of life.

The In-Between Places

So often we want to skip out on the hard stuff in life. We know where we want to be – on the other side of it – but we do not want to acknowledge the actual feeling as we proceed through it.

We have run so far away that it is as if we do not know what to do with the in-between places, especially relating to pain but equally relatable to boredom or almost any other emotion labeled uncomfortable or unwanted, including brokenness.

We eagerly saturate the process with distractions and call this good because we think it makes it easier; truthfully, it makes us ignorant and numb.

I know this because I am the one running through the hot coals of brokenness claiming everything is good as my feet sear with pain at each step.

Beauty in the Brokenness

In part, this is because I honestly see the beauty in the brokenness – it is not a lack of sincerity. I can see the working out of my faith in the places that hurt.

But brokenness has sharp edges that should be attended to lest they pierce us when we ignorantly try to run through the pain.

The fact that life is hard does not negate that it is full of goodness. And all of the goodness does not negate the fact that life is hard.

I propose that these are intertwined rather than on opposite ends of a spectrum; both are needed for life to be lived with any amount of sincere joy.

But none of that means it is easy.

Sometimes I need to sit in the space with what is available.

Sometimes what is available is brokenness.

Sometimes what is available is tiredness.

Sometimes that space is full of awkwardness.

Sometimes it is full of anger or hurt.

Sometimes it is just full.

And sometimes it is empty.

And this is OK.

It is OK to sit there. It is OK to just be there.

Sitting Amongst the Brokenness

I am by no means casting my joys aside. I can sit amongst the brokenness resting in a peace that does not equate to the place. I can honestly speak of joy while also talking about heartache.

The heartache does not drive the joy away; rather, it increases it.
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I can sing songs of joy with tears in my eyes. I can wait patiently for the promise of goodness because my hope lies in the Lord and not in circumstances. I can trust that the Lord is good – I can even taste it – when situations are full of frustration.

When I stop trying to fill the spaces that are uncomfortable, whether that is anger or silence or brokenness, using habits of Facebook or exercise or friends, I can see not only what is broken but also the goodness. And it is by stopping that I can see the movings of the Lord; his response to my need of him in these places.

That is the goodness. That is the joy. That as I sit in these hard places, I can invite the Lord there with me and rest in him as I sit in the momentary place of difficulty.

Leading Others in Brokeness

But what happens when I am broken and I have to attend to others, to lead them, to comfort them, to speak hope and truth and grace?

How come we believe we are less effective when we are in seasons of brokenness?

It is in the brokenness that we get to glimpse scripture as alive and active when we read that his grace is sufficient and how his strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Do we believe that? Or do we just like how it sounds?

Looking back, the seasons of brokenness where I am most convinced of my own need of God are the most beautiful of seasons.

Looking around, it is those who speak from brokenness that I want to follow.

There appears to be something sacred about the way people see their need for God to be God and then give him the space to do just that. There is something magnificent when others acknowledge their limitations of brokenness and the body gets to work together to fulfill what the Lord has called us to be and do; to be the church.

We are not less because we are broken. God becomes more real to us and gets glory in our brokenness. And there is no better place from which to lead and to call others into.

Andrea Gaston received her Master of Arts in Counseling and spent several years as a professional counselor as well as an adviser position in higher education before becoming involved with women’s ministry, which led to a focus in college ministry. In the Summer of 2016, Andrea moved from Georgia to Iowa to pursue the opportunity of working specifically in college ministry. She practices working out the rambling thoughts in her head through writing in THE MESSY PLACES OF GRACE blog.

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Summer is an interesting time in youth ministry. It’s a time when students are out of school, so in theory, they’ve got plenty of time for everything you’ve put on the agenda, right? Well, maybe not so much . . . It’s a time when families are on vacation. It’s a time when students go away to different camps. It’s a time when families’ schedules fall all out of whack. As a result, it can be tough to plan an active summer youth group schedule. You’ll find yourself beating your head against the wall, wondering where all your students are from week-to-week. The reality is that summer isn’t always a great time to load students down with activities. But, it

The reality is that summer isn’t always a great time to load students down with activities. But, it is a great time to seek out students individually, to build your ministry to them relationally.

Relationship has been a buzzword during my entire 15-year career in youth ministry. It’s almost become cliché to make the declaration that you are sacrificing program for relationship in youth ministry. But that is exactly what I’m suggesting you do this summer. I know that there can be a lot of pressure on youth workers to create a busy summer schedule that’s loaded with trips and outreach events, in an effort to build momentum for the fall, and take advantage of the time where students are out of school. And this may be wise in some situations. But all of my experiences with such an approach have been met with frustration for the very reasons I mentioned above. Families are gone. Students are still busy. As a result, many of the big summer events I’ve planned in my career have just flopped.

Relationship Building in Smaller Groups

However, what I realized through some of my failed big summer events is that since I was drawing smaller groups, I was gaining the opportunity to get to know individual students in ways I couldn’t when the whole group was around. In other words (and this may be the most obvious statement ever), the smaller group setting was perfect for relationship building. So for me, summertime has become a time for relationships. It has become a time when I can focus in on the few students that are there on Wednesday nights. It has become a time where I can focus on carving out extra time with those core students who are growing into spiritual leaders. It has become a time when I can focus on connecting for coffee with parents, so I can work more closely with them on discipling their kids.

Summertime is often a lull in the calendar for churches. But it doesn’t have to be. There may not be as many events on the church calendar. There may not be as many people in the pews on a Sunday morning. But summertime can still be a very fruitful time in the life of the church, and more specifically, in the life of a youth ministry. Because summertime is a time that is ripe for something that often lacks in the church, despite all the talk about it, a time for relationships. So if your numbers have been down the last few summers and the weirdness of summertime youth ministry is starting to get to you, maybe this summer is an opportunity for you to shift gears and focus on what’s awesome about the smaller numbers you often draw in the summer . . . those smaller numbers give you an opportunity to spend time on relationships.

MATT LARKIN serves as the Director of the Department of Student & Family Ministries for the Advent Christian General Conference (WWW.ACGC.US). In that role, he serves as a resource and consultant to youth workers and college students around the United States and globally. You can connect with Matt on Twitter via @MATTWLARKIN.

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As our calendars flip toward summer, our planning turns toward our summer missions/convention/camp trips, and in the back of our minds we begin to think about this:  The post-missions trip spiritual spike and fade. The spike is nice and the fade, it seems, is inevitable. Of course, we don’t do missions trips for the spiritual boost it gives our students. Our goal is to help people and share the love of Christ, both in actions and words. But a spiritual boost is a nice windfall and it usually occurs. And it almost always fades.

Does it have to be this way? We’ve all tried to minimize the fade factor, employing different tools and strategies for post-trip follow-up. Some of us have accepted it as inevitable and simply appreciate the brief spiritual boost students enjoyed. There is, however, one tool that guarantees fade-free results and you already have it on your desk, or shelf, or phone.

The Bible.

Perhaps one of the best follow-up actions we can do as youth workers is to connect the enduring, sustaining Word of God with the freshly softened and newly humbled hearts of our students. We are given a special window of spiritual hunger and curiosity after a missions excursion. Let’s leverage that for life-long benefit. But let’s do it with some strategy.

Consider this. We know four things about missions experiences and the spiritual boost they create:

1. missions experiences help us live out John 14:21.

²¹ Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” (NIV)

The missions experience itself is an opportunity to “keep” (obey) Jesus’ commands, likely through the purpose of the missions experience, whether it be in the form of taking care of the least of these, sharing compassion, or making disciples. Further, we most likely crank up the “having” of Jesus’ commands through increased devotional or quiet time during the experience and in prep for it. This one-two punch leads us to experience the promise Jesus gave in John 14:21: He shows Himself. We see Jesus! It’s why missions experiences are so powerful and a spiritual boost is likely.

2. This “seeing” of Jesus creates a soft heart and a humble spirit.

Commitments are made. Stakes are driven down. Accountability is scheduled.

3. Commitments Fade.

A third thing we know. The commitments fade. The stakes rot. Accountability gets squeezed out of the schedule.

4. Yet, the Word of God promises Lasting, Sustaining Impact.

I contend that it doesn’t have to be that way. This, then, brings us to the fourth thing we know: We have a tool at our disposal that promises lasting, sustaining impact. The Word of God.

This is nothing new, but maybe we have all gotten a little stale at being intentional and creative in connecting mission-impacted, soft-hearted students with God’s Word. Let this summer be the summer that changes.

Strategies for Connecting Missions to Scripture

Below are a few strategic ideas for custom-connecting your missions experience with meaningful engagement in the Word of God. As you read these you’ll see a pattern: identifying something specific from your missions experience and connecting it to a parallel in Scripture. We have a unique and small window of opportunity. This process is our hook for effectively fastening a fleeting spiritual boost to the enduring Word of God.

1. Connect Mission Theme with Bible Theme

Your missions work will likely have an overarching purpose—evangelism, compassion, building, teaching, justice. Plan a post-trip dive into a Bible theme that connects with the purpose of your missions work. Will it be evangelistic in nature? Mine out evangelism passages (instructions, examples, promises). Are you doing a compassion project? Explore the word “compassion” or compassion examples through the gospels. You get the idea.

2. Explore Why You Accomplished Much by Working Together

It’s likely that your students will notice, maybe for the first time, how everyone brought a unique set of gifts and talents to the missions experience, enabling your group to accomplish way more than seemed possible. Springboard off their observations into a study of spiritual gifts. Set out to “own” the key spiritual gifts chapters of Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12, and Ephesians 4 (with a 1 Peter 4:11 kicker). Hone in on the mutual dependence we are to have on each other and our unique giftedness.

3. See Your Missions Trip in Scripture

After your trip, poll your students with this question: What commands of Jesus did we live out in our missions experience? Or: What traits of God did we experience on our trip? Or: How did we see Jesus? Let each answer serve as a topic to explore in Scripture over the weeks following your trip, one topic per week. You could front load this by asking students to be on the lookout for those things throughout the week.

4. Teach How To Fish

Utilize newfound spiritual zeal to teach students how to engage in Scripture. Offer a post-trip deeper dive Bible experience (using the above ideas or a Bible book of your students’ choosing) and introduce students to inductive Bible study tools or match each student’s learning style with a Bible study tool, resource, or genre of Bible book to explore.

When God’s Word is described by, well, God’s Word, you see traits like enduring, everlasting, bedrock-solid. It seems God is emphasizing a point. Youth workers are in a unique position to fasten spiritual zeal to the bedrock of God’s Word before the zeal begins to fade. Channeling spiritual zeal into a study of Scripture at a time when students’ curiosity is high is a gift you can give your students that they will enjoy for the rest of their lives.

I’d love to talk specifics on this topic with you. Feel free to drop me a note or comment.

Barry Shafer has been in youth ministry over 25 years and is the author of Unleashing God’s Word in Youth Ministry. As director of InWord Resources, he has written many small-group Bible studies and teen devotionals. Barry lives in Middletown, Ohio with his wife Jessica, and their two toddlers, Reade and Rachel. You can connect with Barry through email, his website, Facebook, Twitter, the InWord Blog or his personal blog.

The post Leveraging The Spiritual Spike from Summer Missions appeared first on Youth Specialties.

Growing up, I understood Pentecost as a celebration of the Holy Spirit. This is the day the church received the third Person of the Trinity and began moving with a new level of God-given power. Lately, I’ve come to see something else at work in Pentecost, something deeply significant to our youth.

Pentecost is a major step in the development of the church’s understanding that, in Christ, all are…
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Pentecost is a major step in the development of the church’s understanding that, in Christ, all are invited into God’s family. God’s people are no longer (only) Jews, but everyone is welcome! Many biblical scholars believe this is something the church discovered over time, as they gradually sorted out the implications of Jesus’ teachings and example.

Boundary Markers

Jesus Himself undermined traditional boundary markers between Judaism and Gentiles. New Testament scholars like James Dunn, Love Sechrest, and Joseph Hellerman believe there were roughly three things most people focused on when deciding if someone was Jewish or not: Sabbath observance, food laws, and circumcision. These are the things that, from a Jewish perspective (and Jesus talked mostly to His Jewish countrymen), decided if you were in God’s people, or out. Many of the extra laws Pharisees developed were around these three things, in particular. Jesus confronts these regularly in places like Mt. 15:21-28, 15:2, Lk. 15:11-32 (notice that the Prodigal Son story comes in response to questions about one who eats with sinners), 11:38, 13:10-17, etc. Many scholars in the last thirty years have concluded Jesus confronts these particular ideas because they are boundary markers, and He is opening the people of God to everyone.

This trend continues in the New Testament. Of course, in Acts 10, Peter has a vision of a sheet lowered from heaven as Cornelius asks Peter to visit him. Peter finally understands, as he connects his vision with seeing the Holy Spirit come upon the Gentiles with Cornelius, that everyone is welcome in this new people Jesus is creating. In Galatians, Paul recollects confronting Peter, who seems to have had trouble maintaining his commitment to this truth. It comes up again and again.

However, in the middle of this stands Pentecost. In Acts 2, Luke chooses which details to emphasize as he recounts this story. He chooses to emphasize the multi-national nature of the Jewish people in Jerusalem (2:5-9). Peter’s response from the prophet Joel builds on this idea, opening “In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.” Peter and Luke both understand Pentecost to be, among other things, a reminder of God’s radical welcome.

Why This Matters in Youth Ministry

Developmentally, our youth are typically asking where they are welcome. I keep a chart of human development stages in my office. Sure, it’s oversimplified, but it’s a helpful reminder of the questions our youth wrestle with. There’s a constant question, a constant longing for acceptance, and to have a place where they belong. The story of Pentecost is a reminder that God welcomes them.

Pentecost does two things for our youth groups. First, it reminds us as youth workers that God invites everyone. If we’re going to follow Jesus, we’re right to double down on hospitality and welcoming young people. The recent Barna Group Survey, The State of Youth Ministry, reminds us that one of the primary things adolescents seek in youth group is relationships. They crave acceptance, and we’re right to say to them “you’re accepted here because Jesus accepts everyone.” What a comfort!

Second, Pentecost is a helpful teaching tool to remind our youth that the same God who welcomes them also welcomes others. As disciples of Jesus, we need to figure out how to be loving and accepting of others. Because of where adolescents are developmentally, this can resonate deeply as we learn to be citizens of the coming Kingdom! It’s not always easy to set aside the way things work in high school (I eat at MY table with MY friends, while you eat over there). Pentecost is a reminder for our youth that, as disciples of Jesus, we must also extend that welcome Jesus gives us to others.

Discussion Questions:

I think teaching about Pentecost isn’t a bad idea for a lesson!

• Can you think of someone who has been welcoming to you at church?
• Can you think of a time you were not welcome?
• Many of us understand the need to be welcoming. As Christians, why do we do that?
• Why do you think Jesus invites everyone? (For churches with a strong liturgical background, you might ask, “why does Jesus invite everyone to His table?”)

Other Resources:

I made some claims about boundary markers that might seem odd to you. If you’d like to learn more about that, check out scholars interested in the New Perspective on Paul. For a very good, short introduction to the New Perspective on Paul, the Oxford Paul: A Very Short Introduction is fantastic! The author is a well-respected scholar named E.P. Sanders, who started the NPP. It’s about 100 pages, $10 bucks, and well worth your time.

Alternatively, the Wikipedia page on the New Perspective on Paul is pretty good and free.

Stephen Hale is Director of Youth Ministries at First United Methodist Church Redondo Beach. He is also Director of International Programs for INALIENABLE, a non-profit working for the dignity of migrants. He received a BA in Social Sciences from BIOLA, an MA in Theology from Fuller, and is finishing an M.Div from Claremont School of Theology in May (he hopes). You can keep up with him at STEPHENPHALE.WORDPRESS.COM.

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Mission trips, in general, are a very interesting concept within the local church.  There has been criticism that mission trips don’t do enough good, as in they are not worth the amount of money spent to go on them.  For example, taking a team of 15 to another country for 7 days could cost $2,000/person, which would be a total of $30,000.  Would it be better to raise the $30,000 and use that money to aid the people of the country you were going to visit?  How much impact can a team of Americans really have in a 7 day span anyway?  How deep can relationships get in 7 days, only to never see one another again?  I think these are all great questions, but I also want to give my reasoning for why short-term mission trips, especially in Student Ministry, are worth the time, sacrifice, and money.

1. To EXPOSE Students to Missions

What future would-be missionaries do you have in your ministry that don’t become missionaries because they’ve never experienced missions?

The truth is, students that go into missions or decide to become missionaries, typically do so, because of an experience they’ve had in missions.  There aren’t many people that become missionaries having never gone on a short-term mission trip.  So, while short-term mission trips may not change the world, long-term missionaries do, and long-term missionaries come from short-term mission trips!  I also believe the younger you get exposed to missions, the more inclined you will be to continue going on mission trips as you get older.

2. To EXPERIENCE God Outside Their Life Bubble

Without the mission trip experience, most students will go through their entire adolescence with only one view of God:  the God they experience in their life, in their home, in the town or city they live in.  Mission trips tend to broaden a student’s view of God when they see the heartache and pain and poverty and likewise, the faith, the perseverance and resourcefulness of people not like them.  We always hear how the people going on mission trips are the ones who are usually impacted more than the ones they’re going to serve.  That’s usually true, and as youth pastors, I believe that’s also a valid reason to take your students.

Yes, we want to serve others and make an impact for Christ, but yes, I also want my students to be impacted and for their lives to change!

3. To ENGAGE in Serving Others

I want our students to get to the point where they don’t have to wait for the youth pastor to plan a serving event to serve, but where serving is on their radar consistently.

The more opportunities students have to serve others, the more they see the need to serve others.
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I also believe in order for serving to be on their radar consistently, we need to plan serving events/trips for them to engage in serving regularly.  We typically do a good job preaching and teaching about serving others, so when that’s paired with actually doing it, I believe it starts to sink in.  Mission trips are a great way for students to see a need and make an impact.  And while this can happen with service projects, service projects don’t typically have the impact that mission trips have.

I did not take students on one single mission trip my first 6 years of Student Ministry.  I regret that.

Because now I’ve seen the impact that mission trips have had on our students these last 6 years. I’ve seen students return to these place on their own.  I’ve seen students do internships overseas that probably would’ve never happened.  I’ve seen students get plugged into serving locally as a result.  I cannot imagine not going on a mission trip every single year, and our students can’t imagine that either!

In your mission trip experiences, what are some of the why’s you would give for doing them?

NICK BALLARD is the High School Pastor at Harvester Christian Church in St. Charles, MO, which is outside of St. Louis. Nick has been in full-time student ministry since 2005. He’s been married since 2004, and a father since 2011. Nick loves student ministry, the local church, and believes that God has big plans for this generation of teenagers! You can connect with Nick on Twitter or his website, studentministrylife.com.

This post was previously published by studentministrylife.com.

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This one phrase is detaching God’s people from God’s mission. Because of this phrase many churches are shutting their doors, families are disengaged, and ministries fail. The danger of this phrase is its false sense of mission and service.

Don’t dismiss the ministry opportunities that God has for you. Check out the video below to see how deleting one word can change your community.

CHASE SNYDER is the founder of MINISTRYBUBBLE.COM and serves as a Family Pastor in Knoxville, Tenn. He seeks to live a life that glorifies God and disciples others through their day-to-day lives, and his passion is equipping those in the church to seek those who are outside of it. Check out his writing at MINISTRY BUBBLE or connect with him on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM.

This post was previously published by ministrybubble.com.

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This summer will mark my fifth year in full-time vocational youth ministry. Given enough time, I could write thousands of words about all that I’ve learned, mistakes I’ve made, what I would do differently, what I would do the same, etc.

But we’re youth leaders. I don’t have time to write all that and you don’t have time to read it.

With that in mind, I’ve condensed much of what I’ve learned over the last five years into two really big, really general ideas.

Here’s what I’ve learned in my first five years of youth ministry:

1) Youth ministry is messy.

We’re ministering to imperfect, sinful human beings—and immature ones at that. If that weren’t messy enough we too are imperfect, sinful human beings. This results in one big and obvious conclusion: Youth ministry is messy!

Students are going to make some unwise decisions. You’re going to make plenty of your own. Parents are going to get under your skin. You’re going to return the favor. Volunteers will likely fail to fulfill their commitment to the youth ministry. You’ll likely fail to fulfill your commitment to your family. There will be problems. There will be tension. There might be chaos. There certainly will be messiness.

As long as we are imperfect people ministering to imperfect people (which is forever if you’re keeping score) ministry will continue to be messy. Don’t be surprised by it. Don’t run from it. Embrace it as the reality of broken people ministering to broken people in a broken world. Where sin, brokenness, and messiness increase, grace abounds all the more (Rom. 5:20).

2) Ministry is a process.

Ministry takes time. If we’re honest, results typically come much slower than we’d like. But let’s remember that not all growth is quickly realized or even quantifiable at all. Good fruit takes a while to grow. Embrace the process.

Similarly, we’re always youth leaders in process. The day will never come where we “arrive” as youth leaders. There will always be room to grow as counselors, communicators, small group leaders, and so on.

While transformation and growth may happen at a slower pace than we’d like, both in our students and us, don’t despise the process! It is in this space that we are slowly being transformed one degree at a time (2 Cor. 3:18).

What about you—what have you learned during your tenure as a youth leader or worker?

Jonas Larkin is the middle school student pastor at Oak Hill Baptist Church in Somerset, KY. He enjoys his family, good books, coffee in the morning, and all things Kentucky Wildcats. You can find him online at JONASLARKIN.COM or follow him on Twitter and Instagram @JONASLARKIN.

The post 2 Big Lessons From My First 5 Years in Youth Ministry appeared first on Youth Specialties.

Pool noodles are awesome! They are super cheap, durable, don’t hurt, and have so many uses that don’t involve a pool at all! You can find pool noodles anywhere from $1.50 – $3 and you can even cut them in half so one noodle is enough for two students to play a game. Very cheap supplies for fun games! Here are 10 pool noodle games:

1. Swatters

Supplies: Trash can, half pool noodle, chairs

Setup: Set enough chairs for everyone minus one in a circle, place a trash can upside down in center

The game begins with everyone seated in a circle around the upside down trash can except for one person in the middle who is the swatter (with a large group you can have more than one swatter, just subtract chairs for more swatters). The swatter has half a noodle in hand and chooses someone seated to swat. Once they swat someone, they must run and set the noodle on the upside down trash can and get back to the open seat (where the person they swatted was sitting) before the person who was swatted gets the noodle from the trash can and swats them. If the noodle falls off the trash can, the original swatter is still in the middle (this prevents the swatter from just swatting and throwing the noodle at the can).

2. Blind Guardian

Supplies: Blindfolds, set of keys, metal bowl, one chair, and pool noodles

Setup: Place keys in metal bowl under a chair in the middle of the room

Blindfold a few ‘guards’ (number of guards depends on the size of group) and give them a pool noodle (or half of one). One guard sits in the chair with the bowl under it. The rest of the students’ try to get the keys out of the bowl and away from the guards without getting hit by a pool noodle. The metal bowl makes it harder to get the keys out without being heard. When someone is hit by a pool noodle they can either go back and ‘reset’ or be out until the whole game is reset, your choice on how you want to play it. Have fun!

3. Noodle to the Head

Supplies: Helmet with face mask, Wiffle ball, velcro

Setup: Put velcro on top of helmet and on Wiffle ball

This one needs a few extra supplies but it is worth it! Velcro the Wiffle ball to the top of the helmet. One (or however many helmets you have) person wears the helmet and runs through parallel lines of students with half pool noodles. The people in line try to knock the Wiffle ball off with their noodles.

4. Sharks and Minnows

Supplies: Pool noodles for all “sharks”

Setup: None

We all know how to play this classic game. Students have to get from one side of the playing field (or room) to the other without getting tagged by the people in the middle. If they get tagged, they either become a tagger or sit out (your choice). Play it with pool noodles! Give each of the taggers a half pool noodle and have fun!

5. Pile of Noodles

Supplies: Blindfolds, several half noodles, some full noodles

Setup: Place a pile of half noodles in the middle of a circle.

Divide up into teams and stand around the circle. Put some blindfolded leaders with full pool noodles in the circle as guards of the pile. The objective is for the teams around the circle to grab noodles from the pile without getting hit by one of the leaders in the middle. The team with the most half noodles after they have all been taken is the winner.

6. Noodle Hockey

Supplies: Enough noodles or half noodles for everyone and a beach ball or toddler ball

Setup: Two goals on opposite sides of room

This game is just like regular hockey but with half pool noodles as the sticks and a large, light ball as the puck. You can also use a full noodle folded in half so it has more stability.

7. Hit the Shoe

Supplies: Enough half noodles for everyone

Setup: None

Have students partner up, face-off and duel with a half pool noodle as their sword. They face off, countdown from 3, and the objective is to touch the other person’s shoe with their noodle. The first one to 10 (or whatever you decide) is the winner.

8. Mosquito Tag

Supplies: Multiple half pool noodles

Setup: None

Like regular tag with multiple “it” people but those people have to hold a half pool noodle to their forehead (like a mosquito or unicorn) and tag with them.

9. Wet Noodle

Supplies: 2 plastic cups, 2 pool noodles, tape, water and a timer

Set up: Tape cups to the top of pool noodles and fill cups with water

Form 2 lines and have each team pass their noodle down the line. The team who can pass it back and forth the most times in the amount of time given (your choice) without spilling all the water, wins.

10. Capture the Noodle

Supplies: Half noodles for everyone and two half noodles for “flags”

Setup: Like capture the flag

Simply a game of capture the flag but instead of a flag it’s a noodle and instead of tagging, every player is armed with a half pool noodle.

TODD JONES has been in youth ministry for 10 years and has a passion for reaching lost students and training youth workers to do the same. He is the founder of STOKEDONYOUTHMINISTRY.COM, a speaker, author, and pastor. When Todd is not writing or speaking he enjoys surfing, baseball, and most importantly hanging out with his awesome wife and three beautiful daughters. You can connect with Todd at STOKEDONYOUTHMINSITRY.COM, THETODDJONES.COM, or on Twitter @THETODD_JONES, or Instagram @TODD_JONES.

This post was previously publised by stokedonyouthministry.com.

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You’re probably thinking 1 of 2 things: 1) This is clickbait, or 2) You’re a lot like me and have a hard time saying “no,” whether to youth, leadership or even the hardest person of all – yourself. One thing I have learned in my journey in youth ministry is that not everyone’s idea is a good idea, and not every idea I have is a good idea. That’s why it’s important as someone who directly impacts the lives of young people to have the word ‘no’ readily available in your holster.

1. Youth

I’m a sucker for a sad story, tears, the pretty pleases, the puppy dog eyes, and all other tools young people use when trying to squeeze you for something. Sometimes young people need to be protected from themselves, and as a youth leader, you have the foresight to know that what a young person is asking for isn’t what they need, even if they have convinced themselves that it is. I know that for me, I personally struggle to say no because I want to be the alternative to what they hear at school or at home from their parents. I want young people to see me as a cool adult, but what I believe young people need more than another cool adult in their lives is someone who loves and cares about them enough to use the authority (given by God) to protect their minds, bodies and spirits from things that they don’t see. As a child, I loathed adults that told me no just because they could, and when I got into ministry, I vowed that I would never be that kind of adult. But then I learned the balance of saying no when it’s necessary.

2. Leadership

When I first started in youth ministry, I did everything to catch my pastor’s eye. I did things so that he would say “good job” or for him to notice me. He would often suggest ideas, and because he was the pastor, I felt obligated to execute them, even if I didn’t believe in them. It took time, but one day, God revealed to me that I was a liaison between the young people and the rest of the church, that I knew them (as a whole) better than anyone, and that I had to always act in their best interest, even if that meant telling leadership “no.” Now I’m not telling you it’s ok to disregard leadership and the authority they have, but what I am saying is that part of being a great youth leader is having the discernment to know when it’s appropriate. Not every good idea is good for young people.

3. Yourself

Saying no to yourself is the most difficult because it leads to self-doubt and questioning. One thing I have learned is that a certain amount of self-doubt is healthy and necessary, mainly because it causes you to seek humility and allow the Spirit to fill in and assure places where you aren’t sure. I am so grateful that when I get too full of myself, and I begin to operate outside of what God has designed for me, He places situations and people around me to seek humility. Saying no to yourself is also necessary because as youth leaders, we are sometimes our own worst enemy. I can tell you from personal experience that there are so many times I wish I said no to myself. If you’re anything like me, sometimes you take on too much, and because we’re youth leaders and think we’re superhuman, we think we can take on the work and it becomes too much. Some of you who are reading this have wives and children who need you more than the church does, and that’s ok. You are your first accountability partner, so if you don’t say no to yourself, then people will feel like they can pile more on you.

Being the youth pastor that says no, might make you unpopular, and maybe uncool, but youth ministry is less about being cool or popular and more about equipping young people to be the people God called them to be.

J.C. Carmichael is a youth leader at New Prospect Baptist Church in Cincinnati, Ohio, and has been in youth ministry in some form for the past 10 years. He has a passion to see the young people realize their purpose to be world-changers. J.C. has had the opportunity to minister to young people all over the country and has also been instrumental in creating youth ministry models for youth leader to adopt in their own church. He believes that everything that is done is for the glory of God. You can connect with J.C. on Twitter @JCCARM.

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MAINA MWAURA sat down for a conversation with celebrated Pastor, Author, and Songwriter Louie Giglio to discuss his latest book,”Goliath Must Fall: Winning the Battle Against Your Giants.” Check out the interview below:

MAINA MWAURA loves to guide student leaders. He is the husband of Tiffiney and has a two-year-old daughter name Zyan. Maina, lives in the Atlanta area and is the mobilization pastor at West Ridge Church. Check out more info at MAINASPEAKS.COM

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Teaching is often the times God uses us in the lives of teens to make major impacts.  Whether we teach on a weekly basis or once in a blue moon, how we do it matters.  From preparing ourselves, to preparing the message to the day of, teaching is a way God uses leader to lead students to Himself.  Being a good teacher takes more than effort.

Watch the video above to learn more about teaching students.

For part 1 on Teaching, click here.

Joshua Glymph is the High School Pastor at Fruit Cove Baptist Church in Jacksonville, FL. He is a 13-year ministry veteran, the husband to Beth, Daddy to Hannah, Micah, and Ezra, and a football loving, UGA fan. You can find him on Twitter and Instagram @jglymph1 or at www.joshglymph.com and josh@fruitcove.com. 

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In my role as a professional counselor and ministry worker, I encourage others to live their lives openly and as authentically as possible. I feel compelled to live my life that same way, but I’ve been thinking lately that there is a piece of my life I haven’t been that open and honest about, and that’s my own suffering with anxiety. In my own therapeutic work, I know that there are some things that need to be kept private, just for me and my family, but I’ve been considering how others might be positively impacted if I showed them that my life isn’t all sunshine and unicorns. Because that’s the real news.

Living with Anxiety

Somedays, living with anxiety means living like you’re a panther ready to pounce. You just itch for the fight because your levels of intolerance and irritation are so high (and you don’t know why). Other days, you are so incredibly tired and wiped out because you were SO READY to fight the day before.  As I’ve been working to identify, cope and manage my anxiety over the last two years, I’ve realized that I had such a hard time identifying my problem because my anxiety wasn’t textbook, in the most standard of ways. In fact, I worried that I was just a negative person, which in my heart didn’t feel true, but my anxiety told me that it was. My anxiety lied to me and I believed it. My anxiety also encouraged me to keep silent, because maybe I just needed to chill out. In my worst moments, all my anxiety manifested in my body leaving me hurting in physical ways (food intolerances, migraines, muscle pain, chest pain). There were times, when my mind was foggy and cluttered, I couldn’t remember what I needed to work on, I just knew I had something important that needed to get done. Anxiety keeps you frozen, while at other times, encourages you to run… far far away.

Part of anxiety is the never knowing how it’s going to impact you next. Today could be a really great day, tomorrow could be the worst. Once, I was in a peer supervision group with some other “Christian Counselors” and one counselor said that “anxiety was when you didn’t trust God”. I just stopped breathing as I wrote that because that might be the worst, most untrue thing ever. If anything, my faith has never been clearer or stronger. I trust God with my largest concerns (like how to be a loving parent and not to mess up this tiny human being I’ve been given) to the mundane (like get me through a boring meeting). What I’ve learned over the last several years is, suffering isn’t a result of having a poor relationship with God. In fact, the more I’ve thought about the idea of God and suffering, the more I see that God has been with me in my suffering all along.

Suffering isn’t a result of having a poor relationship with God. I see that God has been with me in my…
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Where is God in the suffering?

I recently had the opportunity to preach on the text from Luke 23:38-43, a text I’ve seen a million times. This time, I read it and saw something different.  In the text, Jesus is on the cross with two other criminals. Jesus, the only blameless one in the bunch. Yet, there Jesus was, in the center of the same, painful, drawn-out killing process. In other words, right in the center of the suffering. Because, where else can God be? Where else can God be, if not with me? In the good and the bad. At my highest of highs and lowest of lows.

I can’t answer the age-old question of, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I just don’t know. That’s a mystery. But like all good counselors, I like to reframe the question to ask a much more reasonable and manageable question, “Where is God in the suffering?” What I see in the world around me is a constantly changing culture, people, nature and environment. What I see are deaths and resurrections of new things and life. It’s the process of life, one which we are all a part. Just like faith is a process. Sometimes, old ways of thinking about God and scripture die and fall away, making room for new, more vibrant ways of thinking about God.

So, what is my end game in telling you this? What I hope will happen is, that you see being open and honest about a personal struggle with yourself and others is both helpful and healing. I don’t live in shame or darkness now. I’m not hiding a secret about my life from you. In fact, maybe I’m giving you a point of connection. I’ve been emboldened by scripture to see real life struggles reflected in the life of Jesus.

What do I do if I am struggling?

Talk about it.

When we hold something in, the problem can seem so large we can’t begin to wrap our hands around it. No problem is insurmountable. When we talk about something, it’s like we can view the problem or issue from all the angles and get new perspectives. Sometimes, we even learn that what we thought was so big a problem, isn’t as big as we thought it was. Talking also helps us process what is happening with us on a much deeper level. Having a person who can reflect back to you what they hear you saying is incredibility helpful as well as lets you know you are both heard and understood.

Ask for help.

Help is out there. In your school, in your church, in your neighborhood even on your phone. You can do this. You don’t have to go through struggles alone. At the end of this blog, I’ll have some helpful and readily accessible resources for help.

Mobilize your support network.

Who are your people? Bring them in close. Tell them you need support and encouragement. If you need more, tell them.

Get active.

In my counseling practice, I found most people don’t want to hear this, but being active every day for 30 minutes, three to five days a week, will help you manage anxiety and depression. All those good endorphins are released and your brain starts telling your body you feel good. I think this is a great way to “take control.” Anxiety and stress need outlets. It’s like an energy that needs a place to go, when it has no place to go, it can build. Learn more here.

Practice self-care/self-love.

This simply means, make yourself a priority. Give yourself what you need. What makes you feel good? Mani/Pedi, date night, prayer, yoga, warm baths, long walks in the woods, calling a friend, eating well, journal, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are an amazing person. Tell yourself, you are enough. Want to know more about self-love? Click here. Want to know more about self-care? Click here.

Faithful Practices.

Connect with God. From my story, you can see that I’m in a season where scripture is speaking to me, maybe reading and studying scripture is your thing? Maybe daily quiet time for prayer, journaling and reflection give you a firm center? Maybe weekly worship and service, gives you renewal and purpose? Find ways to connect with God and your faith community.

Resources

• Find a therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-8255
  • Available 24 hours every day
• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Health) provides more than a dozen free programs on education, skills training and support for people affected by mental health conditions and their loved ones. https://www.nami.org/#

Recovery Resources

http://www.aa.org

https://www.na.org

http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org

http://aba12steps.org

Laura Boisvert Boyd is a Licensed Professional Counselor, who has worked in student development in high education, private counseling practice and in youth ministry for eighteen years. She is currently on staff at WHITE MEMORIAL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, IN RALEIGH, NC as their Director of High School and College Ministry. She is active on Instragram @WMPC_HS_YOUTH and FACEBOOK. 

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This week, we gathered a handful of YS Blog Authors and Youth Ministry Leaders from around the U.S. to share their most successful fundraising ideas in a Hangout On Air. We get asked about fundraising ideas more often than almost anything else, and this group of youth workers, spanning small churches to large churches, opened up about what has worked for them, what hasn’t, and tips for how to recognize a good fundraising idea when you come across it. Check out the conversation below:

The panel included these brilliant folks:

• Becky Gilbert
• Bryan Lees
• Jonathan Hobbs
• Jeff SUOS
• Stan Elder
• Frank Colarusso
• Benjamin Kerns

Here are 3 more past blog posts about fundraisers that will be helpful for you as well:

• The Best Fundraiser Ever
• The Worst Fundraisers Ever
• Top 10 Fundraising Ideas

JACOB ECKEBERGER is the Content Manager at Youth Specialties, an itinerant worship leader, the spouse of a church planter, and a long time volunteer youth worker. You can find him blogging about social media and digital strategy ideas at JACOBECKEBERGER.COM.

The post Idea Swap: The Best Fundraisers Ever appeared first on Youth Specialties.

Supplies

• Note Cards
• Egg Timer or Countdown Clock

Object of the Game

Players will be using their partner as a puppet to play charades, to get their team to guess the answer in the time allowed.

Set Up

Write down a variety of clues or go and purchase a pre-made charades/charades-like game.

Game Play

• Divide the group up into 2 equal teams.
• Explain the simple rule…
  • Partners will come to the front.
  • One person will stand behind the other and use them as a puppet to act out the assigned charade clue.
  • Their group will have only a certain amount of time (30-60 seconds- your choice) to correctly guess the clue.
• Switch back and forth between teams.
• Play as many rounds as you like and time allows.
  

Rules

• Usual charades rules apply.
• No speaking.
• No acting out letter of numbers.

Hints and Tips

• List of Charades ideas online
  • http://www.charades-ideas.com
  • http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/games-puzzles-and-worksheets/charades-word-lists-kids.html
  • http://www.wordgenerator.net/charades-generator.php
• Switch around having kids puppet parents at some point during the game.

DAN ISTVANIK is the 5th to 8th-grade pastor at Victory Church in Lancaster, PA. He has been working in youth ministry for over 20 years serving churches in Pennsylvania, Louisiana, Wisconsin, Ohio, and Virginia. Besides serving in the local church setting he is also the youth ministry content writer for Parent Ministry.Net, along with being a contributor to a variety of other great youth ministry resources like Youthworker Journal, Group Magazine, Download Youth Ministry, and more. Additional he shares daily Jr. high/middle school ministry specific resources, and hints on his own blog “The Middle Years” at: www.middleyearsministry.com

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All across America, Student Ministries begin to plan for the summer months of ministries. Some ministries will see students head off to vacation, beach homes and spend time away with family. During the summer month’s ministries begin to plan out a busy schedule trying to reach students with camps, events and other fun creations.

I do not know if you struggle as a youth pastor or worker with leaving the summer frustrated wondering what was accomplished with a pack full schedule. About five years ago, I created a plan or realistic game plan to summer winning youth ministry.

The Summer Plan:

Plan Out your Summer before it begins

I know this one seems obvious, but with crazy spring events, end of year events, and graduation season it becomes easy to plan out just the first month or few weeks of the summer. I would encourage you to plan out weeks in advance for the whole Summer. Write down on your calendar the last day of school and the first day of school. It allows you to make sure you have a kick off to summer event and a back to school event planned appropriately. Planning out your summer allows you to see the full picture of your summer with camps, mission trips, graduations and Vacation Bible School.

When you plan out the summer months, use the events mentioned below to help create a productive season.

Create Evangelistic events throughout the Summer

The summer months allow ministries to offer evangelistic events any day of the week, which allows your ministry more freedom. Looking at your calendar for the summer, find three to four opportunities to provide evangelistic outreaches. In our ministry in Hillsborough, NC we offer friend nights or events where students can invite friends to attend with no pressure. It could be a pool party at the beginning of summer where we begin to meet friends and neighbors of our students. Then we start to follow up and get connected with those who came out to the pool party.

Throughout the summer will offer meeting at Starbucks or Chick Fil A and have students bring friends with them where we answer questions that teenagers may struggle with in their lives. Topics could include theological, spiritual and personal questions. We try to make it where students can ask questions in a non-threatening environment.  Then at the end of summer, we have a dodgeball tournament where we share the Gospel and begin to help students own their Christian walk.

Plan breakfast, lunch and Dinner with Students

The summer months can provide a fruitful season in your ministry amongst the busyness of the summer. One way to help make the summer productive for ministry comes through providing scheduled times with students for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I look to offer three to four times a week to meet with students somewhere. I call it my third office location because I want the students to see me outside of the church and doing life with them.

The breakfast, lunch, coffee or dinner time helps provide an informal context and environment. It helps to have no agenda and just come to a place to just hang out with students and hear their stories. During the summer these events have provided the most fruit to my busy schedule because students can come and open up when the schedule of life is left behind.

Scheduling time at your third office can happen through posting on social media where your located that day and have students meet you there for a two hour period. Though another way that also has shown to produce fruit is when you schedule to meet 2-3 students at your third office and just spend 1-2 hours hanging out with them. By the way, encourage your volunteer team to meet with students in a similar format because students will open up to these leaders and you will see your volunteer team have excitement from students opening up and trusting your volunteer staff.

Creative Mid-Week Worship

Summer time provides weird or different schedules within the local church. Use the various schedules to your benefit instead of being defeated by the schedule. A creative way for Youth Ministry during the summer happens through having mid-week or once a week student worship services. Here in NC, we meet for mid-week Elevate Service. During the summer have a parent or volunteer open their house up and go there for fun and games, but also have worship in that family’s home with your students. Also, when you are gathered together do not be afraid to open the Bible and have a Bible study with your students. I have told my students, during the summer make sure you do not take a vacation from God.

Take your students to a fast food location, a park, or somewhere near you and just spend time with them during the time you normally would have met during the school year. I have seen a guitar and some singers’ breakout into worship in a fast location on more than one occasion. Imagine walking into a Burger King or McDonald’s and see a student ministry outside sitting at the tables worshipping or even inside.  By the way, yes, I have done this before, and it led to seeing students coming to Christ.

Just have fun with your students

No matter what you do this summer just have fun with your students. Plan creative ways to make sure that you reach out to your students and help them own their faith. Each ministry is different, but the primary goal is that our schedules are set up to Win.

SCOTT TALLEY has been doing youth ministry for 13 years. He serves at Ebenezer Baptist in Hillsborough, NC as the Pastor of Students. Talley has studied and written on youth ministry and received his Doctorate in Global Mobilization at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.  Talley seeks to help fellow youth pastors reach teenagers with the Gospel, while also engaging students to make disciples locally and internationally.

Facebook: FACEBOOK.COM/SCOTT.TALLEY

Twitter: SCOTTSTALLEY

Instagram: SERVANT8403

Website: ELEVATESTUDENTMIN.COM

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Some of the best advice I’ve gotten in my career has come via side comments that people have made on their way to a completely different point. One such example is when a colleague and I were talking and he said,

“…because of course, the more we go to them, the more they come to us.”

Mind. Blown.

Since he used the words “of course,” I did my best to give my “well yes, of course,” expression. But inside I was going through all the ways this made so much sense in my ministry.  That single sentence addressed at least half of the problems I was having with students at my church.  To this day, I have absolutely no idea what my friend’s larger point was. I have no doubt it was brilliant but I can only handle so much genius in one conversation and “go to them” took up all my bandwidth.

This has become my go-to for when I need to do a self-check. It’s also become the first question I ask my leaders when doing reviews. (i.e., “In what ways – and how often – are you going to them?”)

Why We Should Go to Them

And of course, my friend would say “of course” because this is such a foundational aspect of the Christian faith. From the Garden of Eden to the birth of Christ, we have evidence of a God that is doing what He can to come down and dwell among us. We, therefore, should go and do likewise!  But for some reason this idea of having a measureable aspect and a first question of “have I gone to them lately?” has been so helpful that it’s changed my ministry.

This is the sentence we as youth workers should be asking ourselves every day. Write this out and stick it on your wall. Get it framed and make sure to put it where you’ll always see it.

Ways to Go to Them

But I think it’s important to note that “going to them” looks different depending on our personalities, stage of life, area we are serving, etc.  When I was in college and worked at a church an hour away, my “going to them” was calling each student every week. When I lived in New Mexico, the principal of the local public high school invited me to have lunch with the students and the parents gave me a season pass for all the sports games. In South Carolina, I was at a football game every Friday and at least one other sport on another day of the week. I also served as a substitute teacher in one of the local private schools. Now that I’m married with kids and living in the northeast, it’s a little bit trickier. I spend a lot of time (and money) at Starbucks. I go to concerts and theater productions when I can, but it’s not as much as I’d like. I leave a lot of voicemail messages.

But in all of these contexts, the idiom rings true.

The more you go to them, the more they come to you.
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So go.

Go to them.

Jonathan Hobbs is the Director of Youth Ministries at the Church of the Good Samaritan in Paoli, Pennsylvania. He has worked in professional youth ministry for more than 16 years, including churches in New Jersey, New Mexico, South Carolina, and Pennsylvania. He has spoken and/or led worship for multiple camps, retreats, and events around the country. He took karate in high school because he thought it would help make him cool. He was wrong. Jonathan and his wife, Carolyn, have two beautiful daughters, Kaylin and Julia. He loves golf, can juggle two balls skillfully, and does a halfway decent impression of Kermit the Frog. He’s also a big fan of the Oxford comma. Follow him on Twitter @jonhobbstweets.

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During an area youth leader’s meeting earlier in the year, I listened to a number of ministry leaders articulate their plans, events, and major ‘thrust’ areas. The subjects discussed were probably not surprising: summer camp, mission trips and problems with attendance in a world of competing priorities. As the conversation began rolling into discussions of how to reach more students and reinforce the participation of those already attending, I began to notice a disturbing trend which I fear is not unique to our regional group.

Our world is very tactile in nature. Let me explain what I mean by this. ‘Tactile’ is a fancy engineering term used to describe things with which you can physically touch and interact. In my day job as an engineer for the Navy, we often experience situations where operators have to learn to trust things that aren’t tactile. A good example is a new computer system which performs calculations in the background that older sailors are used to performing manually via navigational charts. Even though they may trust the engineers, there is a human tendency to not trust that which cannot be seen. Due to this distrust, it’s not surprising that when faced with situations of student retention and growth, ministry leaders often default to ‘tactile’ attractions; bigger trips, fancier prizes and more elaborate games will SURELY have teenagers begging to be in our youth group!

The problem with this tactile approach to ministry is that it attracts participants who are attracted to the program, not necessarily to the Good News.

As ministry leaders, we must be constantly evaluating every decision we make with regards to our programs and asking ourselves if we are seeking the glory of God’s kingdom by equipping and training disciples or if we are seeking to glorify our religious 501(c)(3) organizations. If we honestly think the problem with our ministries is the lack of the correct prize or summer camp, haven’t we already admitted that the world has won over the gospel?

What Is Your Purpose?

Another lesson I have learned in my day job is that any endeavor without a purpose is almost certain to fail. As youth ministries, what is our purpose? Paul describes the purpose of the church, in general, in his letter to the Ephesians.

Furthermore, he gave some people as emissaries, some as prophets, some as proclaimers of the Good News [think missionary work], and some as shepherds and teachers [think Bible study and discipleship]. Their task is to equip God’s people for the work of service that builds the body of the Messiah, until we all arrive at the unity implied by trusting and knowing the Son of God, at full manhood, at the standard of maturity set by the Messiah’s perfection. (Ephesians 4:11-13 CJB, editorials in brackets)

I can’t think of a better purpose statement for any church ministry than “…to equip God’s people for the work of service that builds the body of the Messiah.” When we begin to view our youth ministries in this frame of reference, it may become easier to understand the dangers of sinking time and resources into program building in the name of ‘outreach’. The problem with prioritizing the strengthening of a program in our staff meetings, our budgets and our annual plans is that it replaces the God-given purpose of the church with our own ideas of “what the body of God really needs” as if we are somehow more qualified to define our own needs. At worst, it leads down a slippery slope where our faith begins to lay in the programs we have built rather than in the truth and power of the Word of God.

It’s About Priorities

In discussions with some of my spiritual mentors, the question was posed ‘what’s wrong with someone building their program’? The short answer is this: nothing. There is nothing inherently wrong with building a strong youth program that goes on amazing trips and has awesome prizes each week. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians, all of these things are perfectly allowable, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s all beneficial. The difference between ‘allowable’ and ‘beneficial’ is where the priority lies.

One thing I have tried to enforce in my staff meetings this year has been to measure every trip, game, prize or event against the measuring stick of how it supports our purpose of equipping teens. For example, at the beginning of the year, we established a $10 “limit” on prizes we handed out each week. By limiting the amount of money spent on prizes, it forced us to consider what behaviors, accomplishments or actions we wanted to reward. It drove us towards rewarding things like bringing Bibles to class and remembering lessons taught the previous week. Ironically, it almost completely eliminated winning prizes for winning games or “ice breaker” events. The impact we have seen are students who retain more information taught between youth group events and more active participation in the discipleship they are being offered. They don’t even care whether they get a prize for winning a competition or not.

Another example I will share involved the creation of a Sunday school class. There was a significant concern by a number of people that the Sunday school class would be bad for the program because it split the numbers we had on Sundays in half. Some were concerned about the breakdown in the sense of ‘unity’ and others were concerned that it made the program appear fragmented. At the end of the day, the decision was made to follow through with creating the Sunday school class because that is what was needed to meet the spiritual needs of our youth. The result was a class which ended up attracting a previously inactive teen into our program and the deepening of faith in another middle schooler. By pursuing an option that made no programmatic sense, God was able to be glorified through the deepening of faiths for these two teens.

When the priority is on the program, we are relying on the power of the things we have created. When the priority is on God, He is capable of doing unimaginably beautiful things.

How Do We Avoid Mixing Priorities and Leading With Purpose?

For the most part, many of us are probably on board with the idea that we should prioritize God over our program (though a little reminder never hurt; I’ve already gone back and changed a couple plans just since writing this article!). The real question this: what can I do to guard against mixing up my priorities? How can I ensure that I am leading with ‘purpose’ and not with ‘program’?

I hope you are ready for what might be an unsatisfying answer: work on you. I know some were probably hoping for an easy “10 Step Process to Better Youth Programs,” but good youth ministry starts with godly, grounded youth leaders. By ensuring that our own hearts are firmly planted in the Will of God, it will become nearly impossible to make decisions without prioritizing the purpose God laid out for the church! That means getting back to the basics: pray, study, worship.

In our passion and zealousness to serve our youth, we must make sure that our own souls are being constantly refilled at the well of God’s Word and that we are constantly listening for God’s still, small voice calling to us. When we live day-in and day-out with the guidance provided by the Holy Spirit, we will not be able to help but to prioritize the things of God over the pursuit of any kind of worldly ‘program’ or ‘organization.’ For me, I am confident that when I stop trying to build a program and instead try to follow God, He will create something far more glorious than anything I could have ever hoped for.

Joseph Pack is the student ministry coordinator at Bowling Green Baptist Church in Bowling Green, Virginia.  Joseph’s emphasis with students is drawing distinctions between faith as the world sees it versus faith as is taught through the Word. In his day-life, he is an aerospace engineer for the US Navy. Joseph’s messages, commentaries, and contact information can be found on his blog at SAVETHEGENERATION.COM.

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It was your average weekend. I had just gotten back from watching one of my students perform in a high school musical. My wife and I had just tucked the kids in bed and were starting to watch a movie when the call came. Justin had just committed suicide. One of our group leaders was already over with the family. She was in tears. I drove to their house as quickly as I could. The street was filled with emergency vehicles and the police had taped off the house and a section of the street. Neighbors were out in their robes watching from their porches. I met with the officers, a fire department chaplain arrived and we went in together to be with the family. It was horrible. It was emotional. It was tragic.

Let’s step back for a second. I’ve been in ministry for a decade now and one of my biggest motivations was to help hurting people. The tragic death of a son and a brother is the epitome of grief and pain. Still, nothing ultimately prepares you for that moment where you cross under that police tape and sit with a family that has lost someone they love. Classes can give you great information, but nothing prepares you for how overwhelming the experience is though.

My hope is that you never have to experience tragedy to this extent in your ministry. Sadly, it is highly likely that in the course of your ministry you’ll experience more than one of these type of traumatic events. Providing care for the affected family is vitally important. There are great resources available to help families grieve, receive ongoing counseling, and begin to pick up the pieces from a tragic loss of life. More communities are realizing that grief isn’t a short term thing, but is a long-term effort. In the aftermath of Justin’s death, I have been continually amazed at how the community has become a spiritual family to each other. What I’d like to offer you as you read this, is a guide, or a few insights at least into how you can navigate tragedy and not destroy yourself in the meantime.

Here are a few things that I’ve learned as I look back:

1. It’s long and it’s exhausting

The night Justin died I didn’t get home until 2:30 a.m. It was excruciating. The police had to take statements from family members, they had to wait for the coroner to arrive, and after all that, there is nowhere to go, and nothing to do but grieve. It is like everyone in the room is caught in limbo and that moment seems to linger forever.

I had church the next morning and youth group that evening. In the course of that week, I planned the funeral, coordinated burial details, met with other family members and helped coordinate community members as they brought meals and other comforts to the family. Not to mention a three-hour visitation, a memorial service, a graveside and I was already scheduled to preach that following Sunday.  Tragedy doesn’t fit into your schedule, even if it did, it would still leave a path of devastation.

You don’t fully realize until you are in it that one of the difficulties of something like this is that everything in your normal life still goes on as you try and handle this horrible reality. It is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. In the back of your head, you’ll hear a voice that says, “Yeah you are tired, you are worn out, but you aren’t the one that just lost a brother, a son.” That’s difficult because it makes you feel like your grief, your exhaustion isn’t important. That’s dangerous too because all of a sudden you are ignoring what your body and soul are telling you. You might be able to survive the moment but that can spell disaster in your personal life down the road. Make sure you are still eating, sleeping and doing things that restore your soul. You may only have brief opportunities to do that, but make sure you don’t miss them.

2. Small talk becomes really difficult

All the surface things you are in the habit of saying at the start of conversations or as you leave all of a sudden become inappropriate and ill-fitting. When you meet with the family, with classmates, or with community friends, you find yourself nearly saying things like, “How are you doing?” Or, “How’s your day?”  Other people around you will find themselves stumbling over the same phrases. Sometimes they will even get said and everyone will get quiet and just look at the carpet for a while.

Don’t get me wrong. You shouldn’t ignore how other people are doing in this time. It is vital that you continually find out, “How are you doing?” But you are gonna have to find other ways to do that. Be ready as you start conversations with some other questions that allow people to tell you how they are doing. Questions like, “How’d you sleep last night?” or “Has anybody stopped by yet today?” are simple ways to allow people to start sharing how they are doing. There is a raw and exposed nerve in every conversation you have, and quite often you’ll talk around it and accidentally bump into it. In those moments there will be tears, memories that bring laughter and then bring more tears and sometimes just silence.

Our culture is used to a lot of small talk, but small talk doesn’t work very well in these moments. Be ready to start real conversations that require focus, discernment and active listening. Start conversations deliberately and be prepared for those moments of unexpected grief.

3. Strangers will contact you so they can grieve

This one really surprised me. I spent hours on my phone the week after Justin died. I felt like I was constantly charging it because it simply would not stop ringing. Complete strangers would call me, introduce themselves to me, and then begin pouring out their hearts and the story of how they were affected. The first few calls caught me off guard. By the third or fourth time, I had learned that people just needed someone to listen to them grieve. They needed someone to let them ask why. Teachers, relatives, neighbors and people from church would call at all times of the day and just want someone to talk to.

For a few of them, I recommended that they get connected with a counselor, for others, I just encouraged them to keep doing what they were doing. There were others that I just listened to, and at the end of the conversation, I prayed with them. In the midst of tragedy, the church becomes a foundational rock for a lot of people and they will seek you out. Don’t be surprised when your phone starts ringing. Give people permission to talk and share their feelings. When appropriate I’d even encourage you to be transparent and speak some of your feelings to them. It will help them and it will help you too.

4. Your family and friends are vital

As I said earlier, navigating these tragedies are exhausting in every area of your life. You immediately start burning your candle at both ends. One of the quickest things to get pushed out of your life is your time with your friends and family. I went to my wife the day after we lost Justin and told her, “This week is going to be crazy and I am gonna be all over the place. The biggest way you can support me is by helping me be mentally and emotionally present with you and our boys whenever I am home this week.”

I’m so glad we had that conversation as well. I only spent a handful of hours at home that week. When I was home though, that time was spent eating as a family, wrestling with my boys in the living room or sharing a cup of coffee and conversation with my wife. Those moments were medicine for my soul. Not only that but in retrospect, my wife even said those moments let her know just how important she and the boys were to me.

On top of that, a lot of people will ask you how you are doing and how the affected family is doing. I mean a LOT of people will ask. 100% of them are well-meaning, but most of them don’t realize how many times you’ve had to answer that question, and that you really don’t have the opportunity in a quick conversation to even begin to share how everyone is doing. That sort of jaded me at different points. I had some casual and trite responses I’d start giving in those moments.

That’s where my friends and my church family came through in a big way. A handful of times one of them would come to me and say, “How are you doing?” And after a short response on my part, they would ask again, “No really. How are you doing?” Those moments were therapeutic for me. They kept my heart from building up dangerous scar tissue. Other people in my life would say things like, “Hey, I know life is crazy now, and I know that means that you are really vulnerable to making bad choices.” They were right on too. You’ll discover that your friends know you and are able to perform spiritual triage on you in these moments. Other people that you respect will speak out of their own life experiences and make sure you are not descending into your own personal crisis. Lean iintothose conversations and those moments.

5. Seize every opportunity to love and encourage everyone else

Lastly, you are going to be incredibly sensitive to the needs and feelings of people around you after an experience like this. You’ll begin to see people around you and in your ministry in a completely different light. Experiencing tragedy can make you more in-tune to the pain and suffering of others. Take full advantage of that. Take the extra time to stop and check in with people you know need some extra TLC. Encourage the community parent who worried that their son or daughter will never move beyond their depression or anxiety. Encourage the student in your youth group you see dragging on Sunday night. Give hugs whenever you think it’s a good opportunity. Go out of your way to compliment and encourage your students for even the smallest things. You won’t regret it.

Experiencing tragedy can make you more in-tune to the pain and suffering of others. Take full…
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You’ll discover that enduring a tragedy alters your perspective forever. In some ways it is subtle, while in others it is drastic. Find people to talk to about those changes. Journal through it, pray through it and be sure to allow yourself to grieve. When the funeral was over and things had started to calm down I went and had lunch with my dad who is also a pastor. I told him he was my counselor. I said it as a joke, but it was true.

In the midst of tragedy, you run to those who are hurting and do you best to heal and protect. In those moments your heart is especially vulnerable. Be ready to need some care yourself and have a plan in place to make sure you don’t just attempt to move on with business as usual.

As I get more and more distance from this most recent tragedy, I am finding that life is different. I miss Justin. I am so torn up for his family and can’t imagine what they continue to endure. I also hug my boys a lot longer. I share a lot more of my feelings with my wife. My perspective on ministry continues to grow as well. God has placed us in peoples’ lives for moments like this. Leadership is helping people navigate life. That includes the tragedies. Be ready to be Jesus in those moments.

Due to the sensitive nature of this post, the author has requested to remain anonymous. Please join us in praying for this youth worker and the families in his/her church who were affected by this tragedy.

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